My Favorite Comics: Part Two

This is a continuation of my previous favorite comics post. This time I'm focusing less on DC. With the exception for Spider-man: Wild Blue Yonder and Ultimate Comics: Doomsday, you can just pick up any of these with no knowledge of any comics before and just start reading.

Ultimate Spider-man
This is the ultimate (no pun intended) gateway comic. You can have never read comics, not care for superheroes, be a girl, boy whatever, doesn't matter, you read the first volume of this, you're hooked. It's a reimagining of Spider-man, but you'll find yourself caring much more about Peter Parker and his personal life rather than his superhero exploits. Seriously, check this one out.

Ultimate Comics: Doomsday
I really cool Ultimate Spider-man/Ultimate Fantastic Four crossover that has such a cool twist ending, its worth reading the comic just for that!

Spider-man: Wild Blue Yonder
This was a fun Spider-man story about Peter being teamed up with a new reporter at the Daily Bugle, who just so happens to be a Kansas farmboy with glasses and superpowers. It's basically a Spider-man -ersatz Superman crossover, but making lots of jokes as the ersatz Superman's expense, and a great twist ending!

Magneto: Testament
This is a dark comic about a young boy (who will eventually grow up to be Magneto) going through the Holocaust. There's no superheroing in it, no powers or anything like that, just the story about a boy who's life goes to hell. It's very well done and historically accurate, with literally pages and pages of bibliography in the back explain where almost every little thing that happens on almost every page comes from. A depressing read, but its supposed to be.

Spider-man/Doctor Octopus: Negative Exposure
An interesting story, not about Spider-man, as you might think, but about a rival photographer who's obsessed with outdoing Peter Parker, and how his life slowly unravels due to his obsession. Fun stuff.

Gravity
This is a comic about a small-town guy who got superpowers and moves to New York to go to NYU and start a career as a superhero. It's really funny how naive he is, but also gets emotional at times. He's probably one of my favorite Marvel superheros and the most relatable as well, but unfortunately the comic only lasted five issues. Still, its a fun ride and definitely worth checking out, especially considering how cheap it is.

ZOT!
I've already written about ZOT! here. Its a really good black&white book about a superhero and his friends, and deals with the trials and tribulations of growing up in a most real way. It's written by Scott McCloud, do you need more of a reason!?!

Invincible
This comic may not be as famous as Spider-man, but it has the same feel to it. It follows Mark, son of Omni-man (this world's version of Superman) as he comes into his powers and tries to become a superhero. This book has some great twists, one of which happens early on I'm not going to ruin for you, but trust me you'll do a double take. Its created and written by the same guy who made The Walking Dead.

Batgirl
Brian Q. Miller's Batgirl is just a really fun comic. Its about former Robin/Spoiler Stephanie Brown (who was always one of my favorite c
haracters) taking up the mantle of the Bat, while being trained by Barbra Gordon, the original Batgirl, and attending college. It's just a light, fun, smart superhero comic that ended too soon.


Again, this is far from a completed list, but it's enough for now. Part Three will be up at some point.

Inconceivable!

I went out with a girl recently who described herself as 'modern orthodox machmir'. She'd grown up quite modern, wearing pants and sleeveless shirts, but toward the end of high school began moving more toward he right. I grew up in a more yeshivish family, but I think my family as a whole has moved more toward the left. I certainly wouldn't describe myself as yeshivish, but I don't know if I'd go so far as to describe myself as modern either. I try to follow halacha, and thats that. I don't believe that the sort of clothes or hat you wear has anything to do with how frum you are (unless you're a woman, then clothes do, when it comes to tznius), so for whatever reason folks have described me as 'modern yeshivish'. Ok, fine. I was never one for labels, really. I've always thought the two terms, 'modern yeshivish' and 'modern orthodox machmir' are basically describing the same person, the only difference being that the modern yeshivish person grew up more yeshivish while the modern orthodox machmir grew up more modern, but other than the name, they're basically the same, and when it comes to shidduchim should be compatible  So I go out with this girl, who I fully expected to be at about my level, and she goes on about not only doesn't she want a television in the house, but doesn't want internet either. Yeah... something tells me she's more yeshivish than she thinks she is.

And They All Lived Happily Ever After

People in shidduchim seem to think that getting married is the ultimate goal, the end-all be-all. It's not. It's only the beginning. Staying married is the goal. Fairy tales don't really have 'happy endings' if you think about it, because they don't really end. They just stop the story at a happy place, not letting you see the life and hardship that comes after it. You think Cinderella and Prince Charming never fought? (Well maybe not them. Prince Charming is as bland as a doorknob and Cinderella is a pushover, I can't imagine either of them putting up much of a fight for anything.) Almost any ending, actually, is merely the beginning of a new stage, not really the end. After Sleeping Beauty and Prince Phillip get married, the movie ends, without going on to tell about how Sleeping Beauty's mother-in-law tried to kill her kids (I think. Been a while since I read the fairy tale). The only fairy tale I recall having an actual 'happy ending' was Stardust, where it ends with the main character dying happily. That's really the end. But reaching that point? It'll take more than just getting married. That's merely the first step in a much grander journey.

Just Settle!!!

A number of female bloggers have been complaining lately that the can't find the perfect men they're looking for. I say, just settle already. Ultimately  everybody does. My mother wanted to marry someone who looked just like Pierce Brosnan. That was her intention (and why wouldn't it be? Who wouldn't want to end up with someone as handsome as freakin James Bond/Remington Steele?). But she didn't. So did she settle? In a way, yes. Listen, I get it, you want a guy who's tall, smart, good looking, has a great job but still makes time to learn everyday, is frum but not too frum, rich, has a perfect physique, shares every interest that you do, can read your mind, is fun and adventurous but not too adventurous  and always knows the right thing to say. Except this guy you're looking for doesn't exist. You look at your friend, see her husband and think 'Hey, I want a guy just like that!' except you don't know what he's really like. You don't see his flaws, you don't see how he and your friend fight, how he does things that annoy her. So give up on this fantasy Superman. He doesn't exist, and the sooner you accept that and agree to settle, the better.

Listen, I understand your disappointment. I want a girl who's gorgeous, has the same views I do as well as the same interests, knows I can't read her mind, fun and adventurous but not too adventurous, opinionated but not too opinionated, always lets me win arguments, has money, and always knows the right thing to say. Except I know I wont get that. So if I come across a great girl who I share hashkafic views with and find moderately attractive, I'll give her a chance, even if she's not my perfect ideal girl. I'm willing to settle, and you should be too.

You don't need a Superman. Just a great one.

You Can Look, But You Can't Eat

Although not as common as it once was, when a guy shows up at a girl's house to pick her up for their first date, he has to meet the parents while the girl is still 'getting ready' upstairs (though obviously she's been ready for a while). So we play along with this game, where I sit there and the parents offer me food that I'm not supposed to eat and answer whatever questions they ask me. I always wondered about the food. What's the point of putting out a spread of cookies and candy if the guy isn't supposed to take it? It's a tease! A girl I went out with recently explained it to me. "It's for us! It's our after-date snack!" Suddenly it all makes sense!

You 'Sort Of' Keep Something!?! (Another Shomer Negiah Post)

(This whole post came about thanks to an email conversation with one of my readers.)

I've hear there are people who 'sort of' keep shomer negiah. I don't quite understand this. One can't 'sort of' keep Shabbos. Either you're keeping it or your not. And one can't 'sort of' keep kosher. Sure, there are different levels of kashrus, but you decide on a level and keep it. Otherwise you're keeping nothing at all. I have this theory about shomer negiah. If one doesn't keep shomer negiah except when they do, thats not keeping it at all. But, granted, if one keeps shomer negiah and slips up, it can be argued that's still keeping it, as they're still trying to guard it. However, if one never touched a member of the opposite sex only because he/she didn't have an opportunity to do so, but would if given the chance, they're not shomer, even though they didn't do anything. Shomer means guarding or watching. SHOMER SHABBOS = WATCHING/GUARDING SHABBOS. That means you're watching it, making an effort to keep it. Sure, someone may accidentally slip without meaning to, and they're still shomer Shabbos, but if they're just bored or there's a show they really want to watch and they turn on the tv, i'm sorry, but they're not (even if they haven't, but they would), because they're not guarding anything.

There are folks who won't shake the hand of a member of the opposite sex, folks who will shake hands but nothing in the way of derech chiba (affectionate touch), there are people who are shomer with everyone but their boyfriend/girlfriend, and lastly there people who SAY they're shomer but are just "shomer til opportunity" and worried about thier reputation. The last two categories are not shomer at all. "Shomer with everyone but their bf/gf" is like saying "I'm shomer except when its actually a challenge, then I give up". It means you're not shomer, you're not guarding anything. Shomer negiah is when someone touches a member of the opposite sex in a 'friendly' manner. If it's not derech chiba, as in, if you're not getting enjoyment out of it (like shaking hands) then its not negiah. I heard during a shiur once about shomer negiah, a guy asked the speaker if he could hold his girlfriend's hand because he doesn't get any enjoyment from it. The rabbi told him if he doesn't get enjoyment from it, he should get a new girlfriend. As for there being different 'levels' of shomer, like hand-holding, or kissing, or other stuff, that's only things our society created, like 'first base' and 'second base', it's not halacha. As far as halacha is concerned, there's no difference between holding hands and making out (though I don't think one should say 'hey, if I'm doing one I might as well do the other, as there's more of a chance the line will keep changing until that cross another halachic line, plus the societal difference does matter, considering we live in a society).

I do understand that there are people who aren't shomer, but are in public. According to a girl I spoke to, she said she does that not because she's trying to fake anything or that she cares about her reputation, but because she knows it wrong and if someone's going to sin, they shouldn't advertise to the world that they do it. Just like she thinks its inappropriate for someone who doesn't keep Shabbos to go around and advertise that, she thinks its wrong to advertise breaking shomer negiah. And I kinda agree with that and respect that. It's a level in it's own right. If someone's not gonna keep Shabbos, at least if they're keeping that private then they know its wrong and its not the equivalent to them going around acting and telling people its ok when its not. True, they're getting the same sin, but at least they're not inadvertently leading others down that path by making it seem acceptable.

A Post About Make-Up

Women lie all the time. Every time you see them, chances are they're lying. You see, women are like circus folk. Everything is an illusion. Like a guy on stilts, they're dishonest about their height, what with their 6-inch heels. And like clowns with fake padded bellies, women will hide their body shape with spanx and padded bras. And again, like clowns, women paint their faces, often with clown colors, actually, like blue around the eyes, and red around the lips and cheeks. And while most women who are dating don't wear wigs, you can bet your bottom dollar that they're doing who-knows-what with their hair, straitening it or curling it or the like. When you go out with a woman, you're not seeing the woman at all. You're seeing a costumed performer.

The most tznius pic of Harley
Quinn that I could find.

Most of these 'tricks' are unavailable to a man, but fair or not isn't the point of this post. The point is, you often never get to see the true woman until after marriage. I'm not even talking about personality here, I'm talking about looks. You wake up the morning after marriage and see a stranger in your bed (or the bed beside you, as it were, assuming she's now tumai). Now don't get me wrong here, I can understand the appeal of make-up. Heck, I like make-up (and clowns, coincidentally). But I do think that make-up shouldn't be caked on, certainly not after a month into the relationship. I always liked the more 'natural' look anyways. Maybe just some make up around the eyes, a drop on the cheeks. But at some point in the relationship and before marriage (or even engagement), so as there are no surprises  I think it's important for the guy to see the girl without make-up on. To see her without her contact lenses and whatever. To see her in her natural state. Just like Yaakov Avinu, no one wants to wake up next to a stranger and feel like they were misled.