I think of you. I realize you've grow older. You must've.
You were the sweetest little 7 year old when I saw you last.
When I picture you in my head, that's who I see.
Can it be you're 12 already?
Are you really so grown up now?
I can't picture it.
You're still that little 7 year old to me.
But in my mind,
life stands still.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
My little brother started dating recently. Being taller than me and of a more muscular build (not to mention slightly more attractive face), he seems to be getting redt quite a lot of girls, all of whom are pretty and come from wealthy families. I have a feeling he'll be getting married before I do, understandably. He's not much of an intellectual, and honestly he's the type to be happy with any pretty girl who he gets along with well enough. And I'll be glad to dance at his wedding. But I feel awful now. There's a twinge of jealously, that he's being set up with much more girls than I am, and from, at least to the average person's eye, more attractive, 'better' girls. I know I shouldn't feel this way. I wish I didn't.
I feel guilty.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
There's been a controversy lately about some actress wearing blackface as part of a Halloween costume. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Anyone remember Dov Hikind last Purim? I get why blackface used to be considered racist, but why is it racist now? No one seemed to have a problem with two black men dressing up as white women (I'm of course referring to that awful movie 'White Chicks'). And for that matter, how is it any different from transgenders who dress up to make themselves look like the opposite sex (which is apparently totally ok in modern society)? What if someone feels like they're "black on the inside"? Why shouldn't they be able to dress up like that, or have surgery while we're at it? Oh, right. Liberal dogma doesn't have to make sense.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
When it comes to a shidduch resume, less is usually more. Personally, I just have my info on it, but I never put down what it is I'm looking for. I've noticed lots of girls do that though. A bit of advice: Don't. I don't put anything down because I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for exactly, and neither are you. Plus, whatever you think you want might change (I know my 'list' has changed somewhat) but if it's on your resume, thats out there. That's what folk'll assume you want. I'll read something like, "I'm looking for a guy who's a ben torah and learning is very important to him, but he also works/plans on working" and I think 'Well, I'm not the greatest ben torah, and most weeks all I'll do is maybe one shiur, look through the parsha for a few minutes and listen to whatever my father/siblings say at the shabbos table. Nope, I don't meet her criteria.' Even though perhaps I might be 'good enough' for you, I just assume, since I don't meet your exact criteria, that I'm not what your looking for, and go on to the next resume. Sure, leaving out what your looking for may get you a few totally off dates, but in the long run it increases the chance of you ending up with perhaps not who you're looking for, but who you need, who you'd be happy with.
(Warning: Contains Kol Isha)
It isn't just the "What I'm Looking For" thing that's a bad idea. The "About Me" section (which I don't have) is also something you can do without. Often, a guy will read about a girl and make assumptions based on what she writes, like "Oh, she really values kiruv, hm, well I don't think I'm built for doing kiruv. Next!" When this girl may very well be willing to give up doing kiruv to start a family. My point is, when it comes to a shidduch resume, less is more. You improve your chances that way.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
You've got a date coming up! What to wear, what to wear? Different folks will tell you different things, and every situation is different. When dating a more yeshivish girl, the accepted method is to show up in a suit and tie, along with your black hat. After briefly meeting her folks and going to your car, most folks will just throw the hat into the back seat. If its a more modern girl, just wear a nice shirt and pair of pants when you pick her up. I suppose it also matters where you're going. Going to a lounge? Wear a suit. Going to pizza? Probably shouldn't, though I've seen stranger things.
Personally, I don't show up wearing a hat, though I do usually wear a suit and tie, often with a white shirt, except on the occasion I'm going out with a girl from a more modern background, where I'll wear a colored shirt, sometimes, and maybe skip the tie. Usually that's how I'll dress on a second date, sans tie. By the third date I just wear a nice shirt and pair of pants. However, with everyone its different. You have to look at where your going and the type of person who your going out with to dress appropriately.
As for where to go for a first date, well that's a discussion for a different post...
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Wake up, Daven, school, Daven, school, study, Daven, study, sleep, wake up.... it never ends.
Slowly if feel like I'm losing myself.
We're all studying the same stuff,
to do the same job the same way.
There is no time. There is no freedom.
We're all becoming automatons.
We think the same.
Talk the same.
Work the same.
Have the same dry conversations
about the same dry topics.
I'm no longer an individual.
Just like everybody else.
It scares me.
I'm no longer unique.
Just like everyone else.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Weight is always a sensitive issue, but here I go anyways. Thin/fit people, be them guys or girls, have an easier time getting dates. I've heard tons of girls say they'd never want to go out with a fat guy. I recall one girl who said, "Its not that I need him to be gorgeous or have an amazing body or anything, but fat guys are just freak me out!" And I don't think anything needs to be said about boys who will only go out with girls of a specific size and under. Attraction IS important. However, recommending someone lose weight to have a better chance at shidduchim is a big no-no. People are easily offended. And understandably so. But that doesn't make it any less true.
|(Not the guy I'm talking about, just some random pic I found online.)|
I recently ran into a guy I know who used to weigh nearly 400 lbs, and I barely recognized him. He'd lost a lot of weight, and sure, he was still a little more toward the heavy side, but he looked good now! And only one chin! Apparently he's starting shidduchim soon, so he decided to lose weight, and no, it wasn't easy, he had to change how he eats and drinks (only water, like 2 gallons a day, and only certain food) but its working incredibly!
Most people, especially heavier girls I know, don't have much self control. They like to complain about trying to lose weight but rarely take any action to resolve it. Maybe they'll diet for a bit, and when they don't see immediate results just give up, or cheat and eat the nearest cookie. You have to have resolve. Commitment. And sure, you can say "well if a guy doesn't like my weight then I'm not interested!" But would you be physically interested in a guy who was heavy? Not to mention, other than it being easier to get dates, you'll feel so much better and healthier, even just moving around!
Losing weight and keeping it off isn't easy. I dieted to get where I am and I run 5-7 miles a day plus eat salads for lunch to continue looking the way I do. But its worth it.
Note: I'm not saying you need to lose weight to get a guy/girl. I'm not saying there aren't guys/girls who don't mind or are attracted to heavier types. But losing weight if you're heavy will more likely than not improve your chances of getting dates, plus it'll improve your quality of life as well.