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| Peter finally meets MJ after putting it off for a while, because he assumed she wasn't pretty. |
Well this is a first. The shadchan told me the girl asked me for a picture. I've never heard of something like this. Heck, I think it's rude to ask for a girls picture, despite how accepted it seems to be, and that's why I don't do so (though I will admit I sometimes to an internet search, and even if the picture is not to my taste, I'll sometimes still go out to with the girl as pictures are not always accurate). I thought about it, and about double standards, and I decided to send a picture of myself. It's only fair, if guys have the option, girls should too. And I also feel this girl may be somewhat of a disadvantage as I know a decent amount about her including not only how she looks, but a wide array of similar interests we have (word of advice, if your name isn't common, don't use your real name in your blog or youtube or twitter or whatever unless you want people to find it) while she knows next to nothing about me, including how I look. So I figure, what could be the harm? True, if she says no after seeing my picture, my ego may take a hit, but as Calvin's dad says, it builds character. And then maybe I'd be better able to relate to what you girls may sometimes unfortunately go through. At least I'm doing my part, and if she says no, well that's her loss.
Wow! I guy who doesn't ask to see a picture before going out with a girl?! That's a first. Kudos to you :) Really. Sadly, this is what this world has come to. As Andre Agassi said: "Image, image, image." I'm always asked to give a picture...and I don't like it, because I'm so not photogenic. If the girl says no based on the picture, then you have the right frame of mind. Think: It's her loss. That's the only way to get through it. And it could very well be true.
ReplyDeleteAnother guy here who does not want to see a picture first. It ruins everything. You lose your ability to make an objective and logical decision once you judge her picture.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a similar post a little bit ago. I never ask for a picture, I think its shallow. A little bit ago, a shidduch was suggested and the shadchan told me that "the girl does not want to give her picture (not that I asked for it) but she wants to see yours". Although I am 100% confident in my looks, I said nope. If she wants to see me it has to be in person.
ReplyDeleteJust because someone doesn't use their real name in a blog, youtube, twitter account doesn't mean that nobody can figure out who they are. Just saying. One ALWAYS needs to be aware of that.
ReplyDeleteTrue. But if you DO use your real name, you must assume that people certainly will look you up and read your work when doing research for shidduchim. Using an alias makes it less likely they'll find you, at least before they make their decision to go out with you or not. It's a reason lots of people I know use fake last names or different spelling on FB.
DeleteVery brilliant of you to send the picture, and how wonderful that you don't ask for one. I think pictures never tell the whole story and don't really sum up a person.
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